It is official, the world had gone mad. Earlier in the week I missed a postal delivery for some replacement sofa covers that James and I had ordered from Ikea. So far so good your thinking. An eminently respectable and sensible decision you say. If your sofa covers come broken, of course you would try to get some more, where is the problem in that? And I agree. So far there is no problem.
Then you encounter the British postal service, and your morning goes rapidly downhill.
The problems start when I discover that for some unfathomable reason the postman had not dropped them off at the large sorting office, from which I live all of five minutes away from, oh no. He had dropped them off at a small local post office on the other side of town which I had never heard off and had no idea how to get to. Heart on hand it took me ten minutes this morning to convince my sat nav that I had no desire to go to Kettering and that all I really wanted to do was drive across town. I should have listened to the sat nav. Kettering may have been preferable!
So I find the post office. I'm feeling proud of myself. I go in. Clutching the missed delivery slip and my ID. (Of course I remembered that to pick up a missed delivery you need your ID. I've done this hundreds of times.) And my conversation went something like this.
Me: Hello, can I pick up this parcel please
Postal Worker: Sure. Is that your slip?
Me: Yup here you go. (Handing her the slip and my ID)
PW: Thanks. I'm sorry are you Mr J Pawsey?
Me: No i'm not. He is my partner. I'm just picking the parcel up for him.
PW: Oh. Oh i'm not sure about that. You see it has to be the person whose name is on the tag to pick it up.
Me: Sorry but he works full time, and can't get here, so i'm doing it for him, you've got my ID there.
PW: So he's you husband then?
Me: No. No he's not. He's my partner
PW *tuts* (I kid you not she tuts at me!) Let me go speak to my colleague.
PW: (Comes back) Very sorry but to give you this parcel I need to see ID from both of you
Me: What would that achieve? How would seeing someones ID whose not here, for you to compare the two change the situation in any way? How would that help?! All that would prove is that I could steal both parcel notifications and passports!!
PW: Sorry but its the rules, I need to see ID from both you. (At this point she has my parcel in her hands)
Me: (I'm so annoyed at this point I can't be bothered to argue any more) No worries then.
I grabbed the missed delivery slip and my passport and left. Tell me if i'm being unreasonable here people. But seriously. Why would seeing someones ID who wasn't there change a thing? The parcel was addressed to J Pawsey. He and his Mum have the same first initial. By this logic I could bring her passport and get the parcel! I can't be the only one who thinks this is crazy.
So my sofa covers are being held hostage for who knows how long on the other side of town.
I should have gone to Kettering.